Everything I Needed To Know About Relationships I Learned From Crossfit!
Those of you that know me well, know that I love a good a** kicking. I’m the type of person that is totally ok doing too many burpees during a workout. I’m not the fastest, I’m not the strongest, but man do I love intense exercise.
With that being said, the reason that I endure the intensity of this type of workout is not because I’m wired differently, it’s because of the relationships I’ve built in my gym.
And truth be told, there’s some universal truths in Crossfit that are the exact same as a successful relationship.
You have to have support. You don’t keep coming back for more if you don’t have folks cheering you on during the process. The same is true in relationships. We can’t be successful in our relationships if we live in a vacuum. Whether it’s our friends, our family or our couple’s counselor, we have to have the right resources to turn to when things get tough. There isn’t a relationship or a Crossfit WOD that can be done without support, so don’t even try and convince me otherwise.
You have to be consistent. I started a new Crossfit gym about a year ago and even though it’s hands down one of the best gyms around, I couldn’t get consistent with it. It was a mixture of my own schedule and the other demands on my time that interrupted my daily WOD’s.
And man did I suffer. I was moody. I was lethargic. I lost my zest. I lost a lot of progress I had been making. And just like relationships, you have to be consistent to see the progress. I’m back at my old gym now and couldn’t be happier. Sure I miss that amazing gym, but my old one fits my stage of life and my schedule better and now that I’m back at it with consistency I couldn’t be happier. Just like Crossfit, consistency is key and our relationships suffer when we don’t keep working on them.
Comparing isn’t allowed. Crossfit is an amazing balance of pushing yourself and knowing that your progress is your own journey. Like I said earlier, I’m not the strongest nor am I that fastest, but that doesn’t matter in Crossfit and it doesn’t matter in relationships. The goal in love is not to look at your friend’s relationships and feel bad about what you think you see. The real goal is to work on making your relationship the best it can be and having pride in that.
Find a different solution. Just like I had to leave my favorite gym to go back to the old one that better fit my schedule, you have to be creative in finding solutions. At first I was disappointed, I felt like a failure every time I missed a workout but once I realized I could find a different solution, everything changed. The same is true in relationships. Often times couples keep trying the same solution over and over again with little to no success. But once they look for a different solution to the same problem, they find success.
Whether it’s reading a book (I’ve got some great suggestions if you want em), going to couple’s counseling or attending a couples workshop, finding a different solution can yield amazing results.
My hope for each of you is that you do challenge yourself in love and you push to make what you have great. Because time is going to pass regardless, but you get to choose whether you spend it working on love or hoping it’s going to work on itself.
So which Crossfit truth will you incorporate into your relationship this week? How will you adopt a Crossfit perspective in love?
Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need help navigating through this stuff. Often times it can be challenging to change our thinking in relationships and counseling is an amazing way to jumpstart that work!
As always, I want to hear from you! I want to know what your journey through connection and love is like and most of all I want to know how you’re applying these tools into your own relationship.
Send me an email, firstname.lastname@example.org, give me a call, 916.955.3200 or comment below.
I can’t wait to hear from you.