It’s Not Going To Be Perfect
As most of you know, I moved into a new office at the beginning of June as my old office burned down in April. The transition has been one of many emotions, sadness over the loss, fear of the unknown and excitement of what the future holds. It has also been a transition with lots of painting, furniture moving and about 27 trips to Home Depot.
We just added a picture at the top of our stairs that says, “Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful” and every day I walk into the office, the sign speaks to me in different ways.
It reminds me of the ideals we go into a relationship with, the heartache that comes when we realize that love is far from perfect and also the peace in accepting we can still have wonderful even if it’s not perfect.
It also makes me think of my own (very imperfect) journey in love and the one that I get to witness with the couples I work with in therapy.
You see, I have yet to meet a couple that comes in 100% accepting of the perfect relationship dream. They are still putting up a fight to what could have or should have been with lots of “buts” and “if onlys”. They are so fiercely holding onto the dream of perfection that they don’t realize the wonderful they have right in front of them.
And maybe you’re a little farther along in your own relationship journey. Maybe you’ve long given up on the idea of perfection. But maybe, just maybe you’re still struggling with seeing the wonderful in amongst it all.
So if you’re in need of seeing the wonderful, I challenge you to:
1) Look at your mate
2) Tell them something you admire about them
3) Repeat as much as possible.
I know it’s not as simple as that. I know it’s not going to be perfect (sorry, spoiler alert). But I do know that it can be wonderful.
My hope for you is that you can follow these three steps as often as possible to bring the wonderful out in your perfectly imperfect relationship.
And most importantly, I want to hear from you! If you’re struggling with letting go of the idea of perfect. If you can’t seem to find the wonderful…then I’m here to help. I want to know what your journey through connection and love is like and most of all I want you to find your wonderful.
Send me an email, firstname.lastname@example.org or give me a call, 916.955.3200.
I can’t wait to hear from you.