Acceptance Is Harder Than We Think
Do you remember the trend a number of years ago that was focused on “tolerance”? I don’t know about you, but that campaign always drove me a bit crazy because honestly, the word “tolerance” kind of drives me a bit crazy. It feels like one of those words that is cloaked with disdain when you say it.
I guess my biggest issue with the word, “tolerance” is that it feels like a half assed way to accept someone. We know that in love, our greatest need is to be unconditionally accepted by our mate. Yes this can be a lot harder to do than you realize. Often times you end up “tolerating” aspects of your partner rather than accepting all of who they are…unconditionally.
So for the sake of this blog post, let’s break down the difference between tolerance and acceptance.
First off, tolerance really is the putting up with something, conditionally. Finding a way to “be ok” with it even if we don’t agree with it. Which in love is a tricky thing. Because quite honestly, it’s not your responsibility to agree with our mate’s perspective. It’s their perspective for goodness sakes, and quite honestly is going to be there whether or not you agree with it.
I think the biggest problem with “tolerance” is the conditional nature to it.
Whereas acceptance feels like a different ball game.
Acceptance is warts and all…right? It’s being given permission to be human…not perfect. It’s the ability to know that you’re loved for who you are, not what you do. It’s knowing that your partner wants to know the softer sides of you, not just the ones that have it all together.
And that my friends is why acceptance is a beautiful thing. Because at the end of the day, you ARE human, you are imperfect and you have very soft and wounded parts that need to be unconditionally loved.
It’s also something that can be beautifully learned within a relationship. Most of the folks I meet that struggle with unconditional acceptance is not because they don’t want to do it, it’s because they’ve had too many experiences of not being unconditionally accepted.
The process becomes much more about teaching how to love and accept unconditionally. And deprogramming messages you’ve received around conditional acceptance or tolerance. It’s so cool to see what happens when the shift into unconditional acceptance occurs in a relationship.
If you haven’t experienced it in your own love relationship, I encourage you to reach out; firstname.lastname@example.org or 916.955.3200.
Let’s take the journey together. Because unconditional acceptance is right around the corner and man is it beautiful.
I look forward to chatting soon.