Me Too Syndrome

Me Too Syndrome

Have you ever walked into the house after a long day and tried to get support from your mate, only to hear, “me too”?  Or you’re trying to share about a concern or need in the relationship and your partner responds with “me too”?

It sucks, right?  Not that you don’t want to hear your mate’s feelings, but when you’re trying to share, “me too” is a big shut down. 

And as much as your partner is trying in the moment, there is nothing worse than looking for support and hearing “me too”.  Because despite it’s best efforts, “me too” leaves you feeling more alone than you’d like to admit. 

So what do you do if this “me too” epidemic has hit your relationship?

Well, first you have to accept that there’s a big difference between validating feelings and railroading the conversation to be about you and your feelings.

Validating feelings is literally letting your partner know that their feelings are real and valid, even if you don’t agree that you would have the same feelings in the same situation. Validation is about the person seeking support and validation; it’s NOT about the listener.

So, what do you do if your relationship has been taken over by “me too” syndrome?

Well, it has to start with a necessary but uncomfortable conversation.

How do you do it?  Try these few steps:

1)     Let your mate know that you need to talk and ask if now is a good time. (This is hugely important)

2)    Communicate to them, that their feelings are really important to you AND you also need to share how you’re feeling and what you’re struggling with, without being interrupted or having the conversation take a detour.

3)    Make a plan of what you will do and say if it goes off track and how to get back on topic.

4)    Ensure that you will create the same space for them to share afterwards, just as they’ve done for you…and honor that commitment.

5)    Lastly, accept that it takes practice to fully recover from “me too” syndrome.

And if you get stuck…reach out! That’s what we’re here for. You can give us a buzz at 916.955.3200 or head over to www.MyHappyCouple.com and schedule a time to talk.

We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Warmly, 

A