My Biggest Pet Peeve

My Biggest Pet Peeve

I love learning about people’s pet peeves. I know that sounds odd, but I feel like learning about people’s pet peeves is super interesting but also helps me feel like I know them better. So depending on how well we know each other, there is a chance that I’ve asked you this question.

And to be fair, I’ll share one of mine with you.

I CAN NOT stand it when someone doesn’t try because they don’t believe that a little bit can make a huge difference.

I don’t know how I developed this pet peeve, but I have some ideas. 

A) I’ve always played sports and team sports at that, so having a mentality that a little bit can make a difference is imperative when you’re on a team. If one of your teammates believes that even their smallest contribution won’t push you over the edge towards victory, then that becomes true. And that attitude starts to ooze onto other players and pretty soon the whole team sinks. 

B) I had “friends” (I use this term loosely) in my younger years that would throw their garbage on the ground or be rude to others because they truly didn’t believe that a positive contribution to our community would make it any better.  Clearly these are not people I have in my life any longer, but I remember the kick in the gut feeling I’d have any time one of them would display this behavior.

Now, well into my adult years, when I meet someone that sincerely believes a little bit won’t make a huge difference, it’s like nails on chalkboard for me.

And yet I also get it.  Especially in our love relationships.  I get how you can feel like you’re trying over and over again and yet it isn’t making a damn bit of difference. You can feel like you’re constantly trying your best, making your small contribution into your relationships and it has done NOTHING.

But I promise you it is. Because when you’re trying, even just the smallest bit, it is making a difference. The problem is you lack perspective to really see how big the impact is because you’re emotionally connected to the change you’re trying to create.

And the other odd thing that happens is often times you’re looking in the wrong direction to notice that your amazing contribution is creating real waves around you.  It’s almost as if you’ve determined what the outcome will be and end up missing all the other ways change is actually happening around you.

So if you’re suffering from the struggle to see your contribution making a tremendous impact, please reach out. Or if you’re stuck in the mindset that a little bit doesn’t make a difference, please call. I promise I’ll be gentle in helping you shift that perspective to one that helps you make amazing change around you; anna@myhappycouple.com or 916.955.3200.

I can’t wait to hear from you. 

Yours,

A