Trying Doesn’t Guarantee Success.
I hate making mistakes. I know that’s an odd way to start a blog post, but it’s the truth. I don’t like making mistakes and I really don’t like letting others down.
But as a wife, mom and business owner I’ve learned that I do let people down. It’s not intentional. I’m not trying to disappoint or drop the ball. And yet it still causes hurt.
I’m (still) working to accept that I’ll continue to let others down, especially those that matter the most. Because at the end of the day, I’m only human. And being human means that I can only do so much, be so much and try so much.
And every time I’ve caused pain, I’ve wished that I could guarantee it would never happen again. Obviously a guarantee would be impossible, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t wish a guarantee existed.
Even sometimes in my office, I see couples looking for guarantees from each other that hurt or injury will never happen again. As much as I wish that was possible, it’s truly not.
When injury or hurt has happened in your relationship, sometimes it feels like the only thing that will help is knowing it will NEVER happen again. That no matter what...pain will not happen…injury will not occur…and disappointments will not arise.
And yet, at the end of the day, we don’t have those guarantees to offer in love.
So what do you do?
Especially if you need more than “I’ll try my best”? What if you’ve been hurt so deeply that only a guarantee feels like it can create safety again? What if you’re looking for a promise of perfection?
Well there’s an answer. And you can work towards it together
It’s the beautiful words “I’m going to let you down, but I have a deep willingness to keep trying”.
These words are truly the anecdote to your injuries. To creating safety again. To finding hope in the darkest of hours. When your partner can let you know that they have a deep willingness to keep trying in love, you can start to breathe again.
So how do you get there? Time. Slowing down. Breathing. Moving towards each other. Stillness.
You can create beautiful healing by sharing a deep willingness to try. Even after injuries.
What’s the next step? Share this with your partner.
Let them know you’re scared to trust again because you need a guarantee that you won’t be hurt again. But you know that isn’t possible. But what you do need…is to know they have a deep willingness to keep trying.
And reach out for support. Friends. Family. A therapist. We’re all here to support the healing journey, firstname.lastname@example.org or 916.955.3200
I can’t wait to hear what this journey looks like for you.